Parveen Dhupar on Lovin’ It, Livin’ It and Finding Your Ikigai

00:36
Erin
I love it too. So this is the motto of my guest today, Parveen Dupar. I’m going to tell you more about who Parveen is, but I actually think the best way to get to know Parveen is by hearing a bit about how he chooses to live. Parveen believes in the importance of starting each day with a positive attitude by controlling the things we choose to think about and focusing on the now. He wakes up early, excited over all he gets to do before the clock strikes midnight, and chooses to be positive, to be grateful, to be creative, and to be joyful. Harveen leaves a positive, lasting impression everywhere he goes, making people smile and spreading joy. And he challenges us to consider. As you begin the journey of a new day, asking yourself, what kind of day is it going to be? 

01:28
Erin
That’s powerful stuff. 

01:30
Parveen
So, Erin, what kind of day is it going to be? 

01:32
Erin
It’s going to be a good day. 

01:35
Parveen
You just made the number one mistake. 

01:36
Erin
Oh, did I? 

01:38
Parveen
Yeah. So to me, the word good, it doesn’t even come into my vocabulary, even though I just used it. But that’s a shitty four letter word to me. I start off with great, because if we set our bar at good, then we’re only gonna achieve good in that day. But if we set our bar to great, if we achieve good, it’s not bad. Right? But we set our bar even higher. 

02:10
Erin
So don’t we have to be careful about our own expectation setting, though? Like, where are the pitfalls with expectation setting? With that. 

02:18
Parveen
But that’s okay. Like it’s no different than, you know, I always, when I was a young kid, would always say, you know, shoot for the stars if you get to the moon or the other way around. I can’t. What? It was still, right? 

02:33
Erin
Oh, yeah. 

02:33
Parveen
I always think about like big, hairy, audacious goals. 

02:40
Erin
Yes. 

02:41
Parveen
So that BHAG, that’s that sort of big aspirational target. And we have to aim, I always believe that we have to aim higher than what we think is possible. Because the impossible is possible. 

02:58
Erin
Yes. Okay. You’re totally making me think of Dr. Ben Hardy’s 10x work. And so I feel like you’ve helped to answer my question for me in that you absolutely should be shooting for the impossible. And then in terms of managing your expectations, it’s not that impossible dream is a check mark, like a goal, like, it has to turn out exactly like you envision it. It’s the fact that you’re going to actually end up in a place that’s further along, that’s closer to great. 

03:33
Parveen
Exactly. 

03:34
Erin
Than if. Than if I had said good and settled for good. 

03:37
Parveen
Exactly. 

03:37
Erin
Oh, okay. That’s fantastic. 

03:40
Parveen
Yeah. It’s no different than, like, you know, being on a. You know, like. Like they always say it’s not about the destination, it’s about the journey. Right. 

03:47
Erin
Oh, my goodness. That’s what this is all about, this Fulfillment Equation stuff.

03:50
Parveen

Along the way, you know, like. Like we said, like I said, goals for myself. Like, even in business, you know, I used to think about 10x. And I go, why am I thinking 10x? Let’s think 100x. 

04:04
Erin
Right. 

04:05
Parveen
Like, let’s think 100x. Because 100x seems like it’s something that. Gordon, that is not achievable. But imagine what can happen if you think that way. 

04:17
Erin
Yeah. 

04:18
Parveen
Because now you’re setting these sort of goals, these sort of ways to get there that, you know, are going to get you to the 10x for sure. 

04:27
Erin
Yes. Yes. Well, that’s. That’s great because we’re actually going to get into some of this content this season as we’re talking about personal strategy and setting intentions and setting goals and setting, you know, and defining your dreams. And so I love how you’ve inspired us just even in the. The first moments of this conversation, to challenge ourselves to think big. 

04:50
Parveen
I didn’t realize I interrupted you giving my bio. 

04:54
Erin
I’ll continue it in case. I mean, I feel like people know you by now, but let’s keep going here. Parveen also lives by his core values, to be curious, creative, collaborative, and give back to community. I’m sure as a listener, you can recognize the overlap here with some of the fulfillment foundations. So we’ll definitely be diving into these topics. And if you’re still wondering who Parveen is, on paper, he is a seasoned brand strategist, visionary designer, entrepreneur, connector, lecturer, public speaker. It goes on. Author, coach, mentor, father. And he has an absolutely killer wardrobe. Welcome, Parveen. 

05:39
Parveen
Thank you. Thank you. The killer wardrobe. I didn’t realize that was in my bio. Okay. 

05:45
Erin
I think it’s part of. Well, as you said, you know, you kind of. You are your brand. And anyway, that’s. This is now my favorite bio of all time, because we got to, like, actually have dialogue in the middle of it. So there is so much I can’t wait to dig into with you. But I did want to start with your motto. Loving it, living it. What does that mean? And what does it look like when it shows up in your life? 

06:12
Parveen
So, you know, I look at life and the progress. It’s not like I. I was always loving it, living it. Right? Yeah, it’s. It’s. It’s. It’s a journey. I got there eventually after my mother passed, to be. To be kind of straightforward with this answer. My mother passed about 14 years ago, and I’m 56 now. And around that time, you know, I was just chasing the dollar. I was just constantly working, working. And I realized that there was just so much more to. To life than just work because I missed my. I missed being present when my mother passed away. Okay. I made a decision that I. That I regretted for a very long time. And that decision was that my mother got ill while she was on vacation india. 

07:12
Parveen
And one of my brothers was india at the time on vacation as well, and went to see her, and he called us and said, she’s not doing well. You guys need to come. And my older brother used to work in my business with me at the time. 

07:29
Erin
Okay. 

07:30
Parveen
And I said, well, both of us can’t go. There’s a lot going on. Why don’t you go and I’ll just stay back and. And hold the fort. He went. I had a choice. I could have gone as well because it was the Christmas holiday period. Essentially, it was December, not as busy. But I chose to stay back and. And she passed. So it was a regret that I held on to for a long time because I wasn’t there. And. And I chose to say from that moment on that, you know what? Life is meant to be lived. And you gotta love life. I’m gonna. And it starts from love. Everything starts from love, Right? And it doesn’t stop the other way around. 

08:10
Erin
Right. 

08:10
Parveen
Starting with love. You can’t really live life because people reverse my motto often. They’ll. They’ll say living and loving, it’s. No, no, that’s not how it goes. You have to love yourself first. You have to love life first before you can live it to its fullest. 

08:29
Erin
Oh, my goodness. I love that there’s that causality where you have the love and at peace is the prerequisite to be. To be able to embrace the fullness of living it. 

08:43
Parveen
Yeah. 

08:44
Erin
Yeah. Oh, my goodness. So what does that look like now for you? You know, how does that show up in every day for you now? 

08:56
Parveen
Yeah, that’s my identity. That’s who I am. That’s my DNA. Right. And every person I interact with, I show a lot of love and gratitude towards them. And I don’t look at anybody differently. I look at everyone the same. I don’t look at you for your color, race, gender, or, you know, sexual preference. It doesn’t matter. Right. I love people and I love having conversations. I love to dig deep into dialogue with them and seeing what’s really going on in their life, because we don’t know. So many people are walking by us every single day with their heads down and no one is interacting with them. Right. And everybody wants to be acknowledged. Everyone wants to get noticed. So I, I always acknowledge everybody. And they look at me. 

09:49
Parveen
Sometimes some people look at me weird, and other people, I get this amazing smile from them and a great response. Right. Always say, hey, how are you? What kind of days are going to be? 

09:57
Erin
Yes. It feels like when you describe that and you had described kind of where you were at in your early 40s, that you’ve changed your lens almost from inward from facing to outward facing. 

10:12
Parveen
Exactly, exactly. Yeah. 

10:14
Erin
Right. 

10:14
Parveen
And I start with myself, you know, like, with that. Because the business is always going to be there. Work is always going to need your attention. It’s how we manage ourselves and, and manage the expectations of those who were serving. And we have time. People always say, we don’t have time. We do have time. We have time for the things that matter to us. We just need to figure out what works for you. What works for me isn’t necessarily going to work for you. Right? Yes, there is something there. We all have time. We need to take inventory of our time and just say, okay, where should I be spending my time? What should I be doing? Or what should I be outsourcing or what should I be having someone else on my team doing? 

11:07
Parveen
And what is something that’s not adding any value that I should just be letting go of? We need to be looking at all of that. And that’s what I started doing. That’s, that was that process that I started going through 14 years ago and said I wasn’t there. I could have made that time. I didn’t have to be here. 

11:27
Erin
Right. Right. 

11:29
Parveen
This is my mother and I wasn’t there. And then when my father passed away three years ago, it was, I was all in. I was all there. I was there with my dad for the three months leading up to him passing away. Right. And, and I wanted to make sure that when he passed that I was present. Right. And it’s something I needed to do so that I can kind of get past what had happened 14 years prior. So when he, you know, up until the last moment I was there and I took a lot of comfort in knowing that, that he passed while holding my hand. 

12:19
Erin
Right. It feels like that. I mean, clearly that’s a huge growth moment around those lessons that you learned. And then it sounds like it completely changed the way that you approached the situation when your dad, when it, you know, when it essentially happened. Again, I’m wondering, because you’ve kind of got me thinking that when you viewed time back around, you know, your early 40s, did you feel like you were in control of it? Like, did you feel like you got to choose or was that experience of what happened with your mom’s passing the kind of awakening that you do actually have control and you do get to choose what you do with your time. 

13:09
Parveen
I think, you know, there’s been many. I always say that I reinvent myself every six months. I don’t fear the word change, Right. 

13:17
Erin
Yes. 

13:17
Parveen
And I think it was just another step towards getting to where I was six months after my mother’s passing. 

13:26
Erin
Right. 

13:27
Parveen
So I don’t believe that I wasn’t completely there. I believe that I, I made the wrong choice at that time. So when I was 31, to kind of tell you that I was partially there. And when I was 31, I had another agency, I had some partners. I was. My lifestyle at that time was definitely all about chasing the dollar. 

13:52
Erin
Right. 

13:52
Parveen
And I was working 24/7, weekends. Like it was just, I was all, it was all about growing my business. And then when my second son was born, this light bulb went off and I just said to myself, I don’t want to be that entrepreneur that looks back 25 years from that moment. Say I wasn’t involved in my kids lives. 

14:12
Erin
Right. 

14:13
Parveen
So that was a, you know, that was a game changer for me, just seeing my second son being born. Not that I wasn’t there for my first son who is two years older than him. It’s just that there’s always a moment in time, a situation that forces you to look at life differently. 

14:33
Erin
Yes. 

14:34
Parveen
And it was also the fact that there was issues within the business as well, within the partnership, the relationship, and there was burnout at that time. So all of that accumulated into me realizing that, and I just said, okay, I need to make a change. So I sold my business and I semi retired and I made a commitment that when I start again, I’m going to make sure that I prioritize family first and business second. So now I was at that stage in my life where I had enough dollars, I didn’t need to worry about that. I could now just focus on family and build a lifestyle, business. I knew exactly what I was doing. I wasn’t trying to be an Elon Musk. That’s not what’s important to me. I’m not chasing the billions. 

15:25
Parveen
I’m chasing enough so that I feel like I never have to think about where is that money going to come from when I want to make that purchase. 

15:34
Erin
Right. 

15:35
Parveen
That’s what drives me. Yeah. So, I mean, to answer your question, like, that was a different part of my life where I did start realizing certain changes need to be needed to be made to put time towards family first. But that time, it was just my wife and kids. 

15:53
Erin
Right. And that way, would it be fair to say that included a realization that time was your most important asset? 

16:03
Parveen
Absolutely. Yeah, absolutely. And I’m very proud to say that I was an involved parent. What I said out loud that day has become a reality. I have a great relationship with both my boys. The older one is 27. The younger one’s now 25. So 25 years. I’m looking back, and we have a fantastic relationship. They’re awesome human beings. And I was involved in their lives. I was. I was their coach for baseball and basketball. I took my older son to dance classes and music classes. Right. We did martial arts together. All four of us actually got black belts together. 

16:45
Erin
That’s amazing. 

16:47
Parveen
We did things together outside of the 9 to 5 thinking of what brings in the dollars to feed us, to keep going. 

16:56
Erin
Right. So I want to go back to time. And you had talked about how important time is and making choices about how you’re spending your time throughout the day. I know that when we were picking a time for the podcast recording, you had mentioned that your time before 11am is sacred. So I was wondering if you could walk us through what your morning routine is and how you landed on it and then tell us what it means for your day. 

17:26
Parveen
Yeah, absolutely. So, I mean, I do vision boards every year, and when I did my vision board two years ago, the first thing that went up there was on the personal side. So I do personal, I do health, I do spiritual, I do, you know, business. Like I do a vision board under certain buckets. And the personal side, I said mornings are for me. Right. And what does that mean? And that meant that I needed that time in the morning to focus on, you know, getting up slowly and just reflecting very quickly. Reflecting on the, on the day ahead or just reflecting and being grateful for life itself. Just a quick reflection with my eyes closed. Then I would then go and meditate. So Now I spent 10 minutes meditating, I spent 10 minutes journaling. I spent 10 minutes writing. 

18:22
Parveen
And what I typically do is 10 minutes reading. Did I say reading? So 10 minutes reading, 10 minutes journaling, and then 10 minutes of meditation. So it’s 30 minutes basically like that after I’ve done my quick little reflection when I get up. So what I typically do is I read a quote of the day and I think about that quote and then I share it with my family chat groups every morning. 

18:47
Erin
Oh, that’s the aha moment that we can get through your email. 

18:51
Parveen
Okay, that’s exactly. Yeah. And then I, you know, I obviously, I don’t know why no one ever says this about a morning routine. I go and I go to the washroom, of course. Right. So you need that time. You need that time. No one ever says that. So you need that time to do, you know, what the business you got to do. And then I go down and I work out for an hour. Right. So I have my routine of workouts. By then it’s like, and by the way, I get up around 6:30, 7. 

19:22
Erin
Okay. 

19:23
Parveen
And by the time my workout is done, it’s nine. And you know, 9, 9:30. And then I’ll slowly, comfortably get ready. Then I’ll slowly, comfortably do some, some strategy work without having to be in the office. That’s just for me. So just thinking about visioning, you know, and then prep and come into the office. So I’m in the office 11:30 every day, or not even every day. Some days I work from home. 

19:54
Erin
Right, Right. 

19:55
Parveen
So my team knows that period. Don’t try to contact me, don’t ask me any questions, try to solve it. And if it’s an absolute emergency, send me a chat and I will try to respond. But 99.9% of time I’m left alone. 

20:16
Erin
That sounds beautiful. 

20:18
Parveen
And that’s important because if we’re not in the right frame of mind. We’re not doing anything for our business and for our team and the culture. Because I can honestly say that before I always felt rushed. I would get up even sooner. My routine was getting up at 5am 5:30. I would work out. I wouldn’t do the, you know, the. The 10-10-10. And I feel rushed. I feel like I needed to be here because I wasn’t. I felt like I was. I was not doing my team justice by not being here. What I really realized is that by being here, I wasn’t doing my team justice. They need to. I need to show them that I. I trust them, that I. That I. That I trust that they’re capable of doing what they’re what, you know, what they own, the responsibility that they own. 

21:19
Erin
I love when you describe your morning routine, how relaxed it is, because I do think that there’s a lot of. A lot. A lot of people talk about the importance of a morning routine. There’s a lot of evidence, too, for that. You know, time to yourself, to kind of prepare your mindset and, you know, keep yourself healthy physically and mentally to be able to start the day. And I think that sometimes I’ve noticed that some approaches to it feel very. For me anyway, they. They actually add pressure. It’s like, I’m not really a get up super early kind of person. So it’s. It’s all this pressure all of a sudden to, like, get up really early and do all of the beautiful things you just said, but they become more of a checklist. Like, did I do I. Did I meditate? Did I journal? 

22:14
Erin
Did I do this? Did I do that? And the way that you’re describing it just. It feels like that’s the way it’s supposed to be. It’s supposed to be. The morning routine is not supposed to be some other, you know, to do for us to add on to our day. It’s supposed to draw us in gently and kind of, you know, massage our backs and start us out on the right foot without it being so manic. 

22:44
Parveen
Yeah. 

22:44
Erin
Can you relate to the difference there? 

22:46
Parveen
Absolutely. Like, you know, and that routine for me has evolved. Even the sense that, you know, you said sometimes even that felt like. Like. Like a pressure, like something I had to check off. Like a check. 

22:59
Erin
Yeah, yeah. 

23:01
Parveen
And. And. And it was like I was tracking things in spreadsheets, you know, the most important things I got to do today. And. And it was like just. I was writing so much stuff down. It felt like a chore. But I learned to simplify and I think it’s important. It’s important to plan your day. Yes, I plan my day the night before. 

23:23
Erin
Yeah. 

23:24
Parveen
When I do my, you know, my end of day journaling. So I do plan what I’m going to do the next day. 

23:30
Erin
Yeah. 

23:31
Parveen
So. And then the next morning I reflect on what I just said I’m going to do for the day. So it’s there again. 

23:38
Erin
Yes. 

23:39
Parveen
Right. So. But I don’t go into it, into the depth that I used to go into it before. Before it seemed like I was doing a to do list. And it’s a to do list of 20 small items. And it’s just you focus so much on these small items. You never get the big things done because you’re focusing on all those small things. Right. 

23:57
Erin
Yeah. So for you the change has been to get out of the weeds with it and like. Yeah. 

24:06
Parveen
And it’s, and it’s not like it’s perfect. I’m constantly evolving on how I look at it. 

24:10
Erin
Right. Now. if, like what you’re describing sounds beautiful. Not everybody has the flexibility to be able to start their day at 11. And so do you have any ideas for how, you know, if I’m somebody who is like I have to get three kids off to school in the morning and I have a 9 to 5 job in an office building somewhere. Like what for that person, how can they have a piece of that without obviously they can’t kind of maybe have it in the same way. Not yet have it in the same way that you’re describing. 

24:51
Parveen
Yeah. And I think, you know, like I said when I. My mind was a 9 to 5 routine and I was doing all of that, but I felt like for me, I was putting pressure on myself by getting up too early. You know, in my 30s and 40s, I was okay with getting up at 5am and 5:30 and doing all of that. 

25:11
Erin
Right. 

25:12
Parveen
And I was okay being running on five, six hours sleep. But as I’m getting older, I need that eight and a half hours sleep. 

25:22
Erin
Oh, I totally agree. So I guess I’m wondering, is it possible for. To have a light version of it for people that maybe don’t have as much flexibility? 

25:33
Parveen
That’s what I’m saying. I think it is possible because you don’t have to do everything consecutively. Right. 

25:38
Erin
Right. 

25:39
Parveen
You can like the 10, 10, 10 is 30 minutes commitment. It’s not like it’s a lot of time. 

25:44
Erin
Yeah. Right. 

25:45
Parveen
And you know, while you’re having coffee, you could be journaling in the morning while you’re prepping your lunch. You could be, you know, just reflecting or something. So there it, I think you can do things at the same time. Plus workouts – doesn’t have to be in the morning. Maybe your cadence says that the best time for you to work out is at lunch when you’re at work, right? Maybe it says that it’s before I even go home at 5, after 5 I drive to the gym first and then go home right after the gym. So, and I’ve done all of that, right? So I, I, that’s how my workouts used to be at. I used to be really early in the morning and then there was a period of 10 years where so I work out five days a week. 

26:32
Parveen
I’ve always done that for 30 plus years. So that’s important to me. So there was a period where I was going right after work and I’d be at the gym. Actually the problem with right after work for me was that it turned into a social club because too many people are there, everyone wants to talk. And it wasn’t an hour long workout. It turned out to be a two hour workout. Just. And I’m an outgoing person. I talk to everybody. So that’s on me though. That’s on me. So it doesn’t, it’s not going to be for everybody, right? So find that time that works for you. 

27:05
Erin
You introduced me to the concept of ikigai, which when I first heard you say the word, all I could picture was, you know, that dude back in university who would get too drunk at the bar and not stop hitting on you. But that’s not what you meant. So icky guy, right though, right? 

27:22
Parveen
He’s not that icky guy. 

27:23
Erin
No, not that icky guy. Seriously though, could you explain the concept of ikigai and how it shows up for you. 

27:31
Parveen
So ikigai basically means finding your life purpose. That’s what it means. It’s a Japanese word, came out of Okanagan Valley. And that is a place in the world where the most oldest people in the world are living the longest. 

27:51
Erin
Is it one of the blue zones? 

27:53
Parveen
It’s one of the blue zones. There’s centurions there. These people there, they don’t retire, they continue to work as long as they’re, they are healthy, right? They live by the principle of ikigai, right? So they feel that life is valuable and you have to have a goal in mind. So they work as a community and they’re happy. They are getting up early as a community, they’re preparing meals, they are walking up and down hills every day. They are staying healthy. Right. So they have found their life worth. Iki means life, gai means worth. Right. So your purpose. Life purpose. So to me, I used to believe that my, you know, my purpose, which I redefined into ikigai, my purpose used to be to make every person I interact with smile. So, and I didn’t put a quantum, I didn’t quantify that with a number. 

28:57
Parveen
I just, I just said that anybody I walk by, I want to acknowledge them. I want to say, hello, how are you? And I want to get a smile out of every person I interact with. Right. But then over time, I started realizing that my purpose is really to unite people. My older son is gay. And when, as he, when he was coming out, I don’t think I was a great father. I don’t think I handled it well. And I learned so much through that journey. My son and I have a fantastic relationship, by the way. Now. Right. It’s just early on, I don’t think I did a great job with it. But that experience and the experience of growing up in Canada in the 70s and 80s, there was a lot of racism. 

29:52
Parveen
So experiencing that racism, experiencing being an outcast and, and called names, you know, and that’s just, even a mainstream, even a Caucasian being bullied is outcast too. Right. So just that to me, I just don’t understand why there has to be so much hate in this world. Why do we have to judge a person for their color, their heritage or sexual beliefs and so on? It doesn’t make any sense to me. So I figured that why my reason to be and the reason to serve is to unite people, to contribute towards building a united world. That is my purpose. 

30:39
Erin
Yes. 

30:39
Parveen
So that is my ikigai. And I think everyone needs to kind of find their life purpose. 

30:45
Erin
And I can see as you’re describing it, how that links so closely with what we started with in terms of your motto, because you’re coming at that clearly from a place of love. 

30:56
Parveen
Yeah, yeah. And now, by the way, let me define ikigai a little bit further. How you find your ikigai, there are four quadrants. So there’s what you love, what you’re good at. And there’s a word good, I would say what you’re great at. 

31:14
Erin
Okay. 

31:14
Parveen
What the world needs and what you can be paid for. So when all those four circles intersect, you get your passion, mission, profession and vocation. And then when all of that intersects. That’s when you finally identify what your ikigai is. If that makes sense. 

31:36
Erin
That makes a lot of sense. I love that. Yeah, I love a good model too. That is super helpful. 

31:41
Parveen
Yeah. 

31:43
Erin
Okay, so I think where I’m seeing the interconnections too is between ikigai that you’ve described for yourself, your motto, where you’re coming at things from a place of love. And then I want to talk a little bit about your values. So curious, creative, collaborative, and giving back to community. The importance of values came up in other conversations that I’ve had with Mark Walton and Manish Raizada. And I was curious about how you identified yours. Like how do any of us identify those values pieces? Because they seem to be really important for connecting with purpose, for connecting with others, for living a life of fulfillment. 

32:31
Parveen
Right. So my personal values and my business values are actually the same. You know, when I talk to entrepreneurs that are. Because we do a lot of work with, with startups and scale ups. 

32:46
Erin
Yeah. 

32:47
Parveen
I always tell them that when you’re looking for funding for your business, the investor is investing in you. They’re investing in the jockey, not the donkey. Right. So the jockey has to be all in. There has to be a purpose of why that person is trying to solve this problem. Like, you have to be really connected to it and. 

33:11
Erin
Right. 

33:13
Parveen
This means something to you. This is so important to you. Right. So when you think about values, it starts from what are you trying to achieve? What’s your purpose? So once you’ve defined your purpose, the values tend to come out from that. 

33:32
Erin
Okay. 

33:34
Parveen
So I’m a creative person to begin with and in my business and I’m a very curious person. I ask a lot of questions. 

33:43
Erin
Right, right. 

33:45
Parveen
And I also, I believe that I respect everybody. I don’t believe in titles. So I’m a very collaborative person. So my actions identified my values. My purpose pointed them out to me. 

34:02
Erin
Okay, right. So you discovered them through your purpose. What do you think the relationship is between your values and your identity? 

34:11
Parveen
So you have to live your values through your identity. Right. So when you, when we, when you said earlier and I laughed about, you know, something about my fashion choice and colors and so on. 

34:25
Erin
Oh, your killer fashion style. 

34:27
Parveen
Killer fashion. 

34:28
Erin
You’ve got a good wardrobe. 

34:30
Parveen
So I design a lot of my own clothes. I have to, I like to have fun with them. 

34:33
Erin
Yeah. 

34:34
Parveen
My job is to make brands stand out. That’s what I do every day. Right. I need to connect people to brands and brands to people and make that brand the preferred brand in its category. To do that, I need to make them stand out. Well, I look at myself and say, I’m a brand. I need to stand out. So when I come into a room, people are going to know that is Parveen. Like, they’re just going to know. Right. Because I’m going to have a bright color, I have a particular style, a particular look. I am living my values. I am showing up consistently the same way. And I’m doing that through my fashion. I’m doing that through the way I talk to people. 

35:19
Erin
And so how would you summarize what is the importance of knowing and stating your values? 

35:26
Parveen
See, to some people that maybe can think about it as family values. Right. I think it starts from that entrepreneurs have a lot of superpowers. I think entrepreneurs have the power to solve a lot of problems. But not everyone is an entrepreneur. Right. So I think for the general public, I would say think from a family value perspective. We all have family values. We all think about, you know, be good to that human being. You know, don’t steal. You know, like it starts from somewhere. 

36:05
Erin
Right, right. And why is it important? 

36:08
Parveen
Because that’s what. Without values, we have nothing. We’re. We’re just walking around in this world without any true purpose, without knowing what the next day looks like. You know, we’re not solving anything. We all are on this world to contribute in some way. I think everyone has some value to give. Yeah. 

36:32
Erin
So it’s that connection with purpose. Manish Raizada described it as an intricate tapestry where we all have a little piece that we’re contributing to the whole. And I love that. That image. And I think you’ve helped to weave in the values part to that as well. All right, shall we build your equation? 

36:53
Parveen
All right, let’s do it. 

36:54
Erin
Let’s do it. All right. I mean, you’ve already actually started us off a little bit because part of this is identifying what are the ways you like to spend your time in any given week? And so by describing your morning routine, you’ve already introduced us to meditation, journaling, reading, and exercise. 

37:19
Parveen
Yeah, yeah. So serving others is really important too. 

37:24
Erin
Okay. 

37:26
Parveen
You know, one thing, I’m. I’m. I. I actually came to this self reflection very recently. People ask me, why do you give so much of your time to all these other organizations on a voluntary basis? Right. And I realized that I love to give back, for sure. I love helping people. And. And I learned from that too, because by interacting with other people. I’m taking away so much. 

38:01
Erin
Yeah. 

38:02
Parveen
Yet the real reason I thought I. The realization I came to was it forces me to be out of the business and not in the business. It forces me to really put trust in my team because I feel like if I need to be busy all the time, I need to do something. I’m always thinking about, what’s that next? And if I don’t have these other places to put my time to, I feel like I’m going to get in the way of my team. 

38:33
Erin
And you’re going to micromanage. I have never heard of that as antidote for micromanaging, and I love it. That’s fantastic. 

38:42
Parveen
Serving is really important. So a big part of my day goes to serving others. 

38:46
Erin
Yes. And I like what you were saying about how much you learn from that experience too. So I think that’s such an interesting thing to think about when we’re considering giving our time and everything is that, you know, it’s. It’s not entirely selfless. And I mean that in the most positive way possible that, you know. It’s going both ways. 

39:10
Parveen
Absolutely. 

39:12
Erin
Okay, so we have meditation, journey, journaling, reading, exercise, serving others. And then you do have time in your business. It sounded like. 

39:20
Parveen
Yep, yep. 

39:22
Erin
Anything else? 

39:23
Parveen
Family. 

39:24
Erin
Through family. 

39:25
Parveen
Family time. 

39:27
Erin
Great. 

39:28
Parveen
Family time. My wife is, you know, we put into our calendar. It’s like, because. Because she knows if it’s not in the calendar, I’m gonna put something else in there. So we put in the. In the calendar. This is our. Our time to go for a walk together. This is time to actually sit together and talk. Right? 

39:49
Erin
Yes. 

39:50
Parveen
This is our time to go cycling together. This is our time to do yoga together. So it’s every day of the week. There is something there that my wife and are doing together because our kids are men, and we are rediscovering the passion for ourselves being a couple again. Right. So it’s important to. To make sure that I’m investing that time in the person that matters the most to me, which is my wife. 

40:17
Erin
Yes. 

40:17
Parveen
Next. And my kids, of course. But they’re men. They. They’re. They’re. They’re on their own journey now. 

40:22
Erin
Right. I love how you’re describing that because we talk a lot about designing your time the way you want to spend it. And I think that’s an important point that I haven’t kind of got to, at least in my writing yet around. If you’re in a partnership, the power of you both doing the exercise, but then looking for alignment. And so where can we have these blocks of time that are shared where we’re committing, you know, to go for a walk together or, you know, to be able to just. Just sit and be together. And so that alignment of the two designs is beautiful, the way you’ve described it. 

41:04
Parveen
And there’s date night, too. One night is date night. Friday night. 

41:06
Erin
Oh, yes. So fun. All right, so now what we’re going to do is put them in proportion because like a good recipe, not everything comes in the same quantities. So I think you already talked about meditation, journaling, reading. That would be like 10 to 15 minutes a day each. Is that right? 

41:32
Parveen
That’s 30 minutes total. 

41:34
Erin
30 minutes total. Do you do the same on the other end of the day though, too? 

41:38
Parveen
Sorry, you’re right, I do at the end of the day as well. I reflect back at the end of the day. 

41:43
Erin
Okay. And actually we’re going to build it for the week. So I think that over the course of the week, you know, if you’re doing 15 minutes a day, that’s like two. Two blocks a week. 

41:53
Parveen
Sure. 

41:54
Erin
Yeah. Okay. You’re like, yeah, I’ll trust you on the math. All right. All right. So two blocks a week of meditation, two of journaling. Now the reading might be a little more. Because you said more. 

42:09
Parveen
Yeah, because my. Actually I was. I joke about this a lot too. I love books. I love paper. I don’t like to listen to audiobooks and I listen to Blinkist once in a while, but that’s a 15 minute thing. I listen to podcasts, which gets me excited and I get some great takeaways, but paper is just so much more interesting because then you read it and you go, wait a minute, I’m not sure I understand that. You read it again, you highlight it. I just love paper. 

42:41
Erin
Me too. 

42:43
Parveen
I have a wall. I have so many books. I feel like now I have so many books. I haven’t even read 80% of the ones that are in there. I feel like I just like staring at books. 

42:53
Erin
I agree. There’s something about holding a brand new book that’s just like. That is a joy moment for me. Right. 

42:59
Parveen
There was a. Charlie Munger says there are. There are billion dollar ideas in a $30 book. It is so important to read. 

43:10
Erin
Yeah. And authors love me because I do the audio and then I have to get the physical copy too. So I’m always buying everything twice. Okay. 

43:20
Parveen
So for reading, let’s say three of those blocks, I guess. 

43:24
Erin
Three blocks. Okay. Exercise? 

43:28
Parveen
That’s. What is one hour. One hour a day. Work out to. How many blocks does that have? 

43:34
Erin
Seven. Seven days a week. Now, you said you did five, so maybe like, we’ll say six. 

43:38
Parveen
Five is minimum. Yeah. 

43:40
Erin
Oh, okay. So go with six. Okay, Six. Exercise, Serving others. 

43:47
Parveen
I tend to do a lot of time to that. More time to that. I would say serving others and family would be the highest and business would be the least out of the three buckets that are left. 

44:04
Erin
Okay, so at about an hour. About an hour a block, how many blocks for business then? 

44:10
Parveen
I would say 20% of my time is probably business. 

44:15
Erin
Okay, so like four hours a day. 

44:18
Parveen
Or I would say three hours a day. 

44:23
Erin
Five days a week. 

44:25
Parveen
Five days a week, yeah. 

44:27
Erin
Okay, so 15 will do 15 blocks. 

44:29
Parveen
For business because it’s the stage that I’m at. I’m at a stage of my business where I built a strong leadership team. I’m more on. On relationship and visioning and strategy. Right. So. And I have a. I have strong strategy team, but I’m just supporting them right now. 

44:46
Erin
With respect to serving others, how many blocks would you have of that? If it’s like 15 for business? 

44:52
Parveen
Well, you know what? I would go 15 because it goes past serving others doesn’t stop at 5. Right. We’re not. So it would go past that family and serving others goes more than the blocks that you put towards business. 

45:09
Erin
Right, right. 

45:11
Parveen
For sure. Because it’s past five. My day doesn’t end there. 

45:14
Erin
Yeah. And sometimes it’s like, I. I don’t necessarily quantify every moment with a spouse or with kids, because they’re not necessarily all quality. So when we look for. How many blocks a week do you want for family? It’s meant identify those really, those quality moments. So, you know, going for a walk with your wife would count as that. 

45:38
Parveen
Right. Did you. I know you had Tom Benson on here? 

45:42
Erin
Yeah. 

45:43
Parveen
Talk about 86,400, by any chance? 

45:47
Erin
Not on our recording, no. 

45:50
Parveen
Okay. I think it’s important to share this right now, too, because when you just said quality to me, there’s 86,400 seconds in a day. 

46:00
Erin
Yes. 

46:00
Parveen
And I believe that I need to get the most out of every second of that day. Right. And that doesn’t necessarily mean that me sitting still and not doing anything is not quality, because I need that sitting still, not doing anything, just so I can clear my head. That’s quality. 

46:23
Erin
Yes, for sure. 

46:25
Parveen
Right. So I think. I think there’s a. There’s a way to look at it is very like, I look at it very differently. And that those seconds, I break it down into four buckets. I call it pies. Pies are physical, intellectual, emotional, and spiritual. Okay, So I need to get the most value out of my day. My 86,400 seconds. When it comes to my physical being in that day, my intellectual. What did I get? From an intellectual perspective, how did I grow? From an emotional perspective, how did I grow? How did I connect? And from a spiritual perspective, how did I give back? How did I get value out of that? So I need to get value out of all four of those buckets. 

47:09
Erin
Yes. Okay. 

47:11
Parveen
So we. We actually have a group of eight. We call ourselves eight, six, four. We meet once a month and you. You know a few of them. So we’re all about this concept and we reflect on it every month. We talk about how we’re living up to those values of 864. 

47:29
Erin
I love that. I love the model that you’ve described, the perspective, but also the connection and community and collaboration and accountability that you have around it as well. And so what a great model for those of us who are kind of learning from you today can adopt and maybe see if there are people in our lives who may want to do some of this thinking with us and together. 

48:01
Parveen
Now, this isn’t something that, you know, I came up with or anything like that. I mean, this is. This is learnings that we got from Warren Runestad. I don’t know if you know Warren Runestad. No, Warren was the. He was a former White House secretary. He served under several presidents. He is the most amazing human being you could ever meet. He’s in his late 80s now, maybe even early 90s, but he runs this leadership academy. And I attended his leadership academy, sort of. Tom. And that’s where we got this learnings from. So based on that learning of the. Of this 864, we developed this concept of pies, but it came from Warren. So I’m not. I don’t want to take credit for something that isn’t mine, but it’s just such an. He’s such an amazing human being and he’s an amazing visionary. 

48:53
Parveen
So it’s just learnings from him. 

48:55
Erin
That’s so cool. I love it. That’s something for all of us to aspire to as well, in terms of both how you’re thinking about that time, but then that point of connection with other people who are also valuing that. Neat. Okay, so back to your equation. We’ve got family. So how I was Thinking more the like doing the dishes part wasn’t really the quality time. But so yesterday. 

49:22
Parveen
Okay, no, hold on a second. That is quality time. I just had that. Yes, Yesterday had this same thing come up. My younger son, he’s 25, he just proposed to his girlfriend. 

49:33
Erin
Oh. 

49:33
Parveen
And we had his future in laws over for dinner yesterday. And I’m washing the dishes, right. And, and he, and his future partner says, can I help you? Let me at least dry them. I said, no, I said please. This is actually my period of meditation. It really is. So washing dishes to me is just a form of relaxation. 

49:58
Erin
Right. 

49:59
Parveen
So it just depends on how you look at things. I look at everything from a perspective of positivity. Not that it’s a chore, not that I have to do the dishes. I look at. As I get to do the dishes, I get to do this. 

50:15
Erin
You’ve got a powerful mindset. I just love it. I love it. Wow. Yeah. But I do think you’re right. And I actually shared in one of my initial articles how when I did my original exercise, this is like 5 years ago, looking at the things, the ways that I was spending my time, one of my first aha moments was that it felt like at the time most of it was have to dos. And when I actually wrote it all down and looked at it objectively, I realized that most of it was actually want to do’s. They just weren’t showing up as want to dos. And that was, I think, a combination of mindset. And at that time in my life I was really exhausted. And I think when you’re exhausted, it’s hard sometimes to, you know, see. See things as want to dos. 

51:13
Parveen
That’s beautiful. That’s beautiful. That’s exactly it. Yeah. Love it. 

51:17
Erin
So are we actually going to be able to put a number of blocks on family here to finish your equation? Is that possible? 

51:27
Parveen
Sure. It’s, the same number as it was for community. How’s that okay to work with, but I might have too many blocks. 

51:39
Erin
Don’t worry about that right now. So you had 15 blocks for serving others. I mean, if you think about like seven days a week, if you had three hours a day for family, I don’t know if that’s too high, but it doesn’t sound like it the way that you’re describing it. That’s 21. 

51:58
Parveen
No, it probably is high. It probably is high. Then to your point, I think let’s say two. Two hours a day. Yeah. 

52:05
Erin
Two Hours a day. Okay, so we’ll do. Yeah, I’m just going to give it exactly what you did for the other one then. So what a nice, beautiful, even equation. You’ve got 2 blocks meditation, 2 blocks journaling, 3 blocks reading, 6 for exercise, 15 business, 15 serving others, 15 family. Did we miss anything? 

52:28
Parveen
No, I think that is how my day looks. Nice how my day looks. Yeah. 

52:34
Erin
And then you do. Have you talked about connecting with your peer group and so I don’t know if that happens. 

52:42
Parveen
Friends. Friends is part of that. And yeah, to me, the connecting connections is all part of serving. I look at all of that together. 

52:55
Erin
Okay. You know, like, yeah, that’s great. I love it. Oh, I have a question for you. This is a new question in season two and I think it’s important because you were just kind of talking about we’re grounding ourselves in your equation. So my question is, what is a dream that you have for yourself in 5 to 10 years and how do you trace that back to what’s in your equation today? 

53:22
Parveen
I would say when I look at that equation that everything that was in the front end, front loaded when it came to reading, journaling, meditation and exercise, those blocks are increasing. 

53:36
Erin
Okay. 

53:37
Parveen
Increased. Have probably doubled. And it’s all blends into more serving others. And then the business side of it is where we are right now when it comes to the blocks related to meditation and stuff. So business is just self running, self sufficient. And I’m here, I’m here maybe once a week, once a month, just for, you know, strategy meetings. Once a month even. 

54:10
Erin
Yeah. And so when you think about the vision board that you described for me. 

54:14
Parveen
Yeah. 

54:14
Erin
Does that, is that reflective in your equation? 

54:17
Parveen
It, it is. It is. My vision board is, has a lot to do with, you know, living a life with freedom, right? 

54:29
Erin
Yes. 

54:29
Parveen
And. And what I just described is what freedom looks like to me. 

54:36
Erin
Oh, that’s so beautifully said. 

54:38
Parveen
Yeah. 

54:40
Erin
And a great segue to our rapid fire questions. You ready to go? 

54:45
Parveen
Yeah. 

54:46
Erin
Okay, number one, finish the sentence. Fulfillment is. 

54:50
Parveen
Fulfillment is passion. 

54:54
Erin
Give me an example of a small moment of joy you had in the last 24 hours. 

54:59
Parveen
Small moment of joy. In the last 24 hours, I had a Matai. Matai is an Indian sweet. I cheated on sweets. 

55:10
Erin
Sounds delicious. 

55:11
Parveen
I have a sweet tooth and I try not to have any sweets. The first, the first four months of this year, I had no sweets and I did amazingly well with my fitness goals. But now I’m cheating again. 

55:24
Erin
I think that first statement is good. It’s. No, it’s great. It’s important. And I think that a suite can bring a lot of joy, which is also important. Hence your joy moment. What is a book you read or a podcast you listened to that changed the way you think? 

55:42
Parveen
I listen to this podcast very every day. It’s called the Founders. 

55:47
Erin
Okay. 

55:48
Parveen
And it’s by David Senna. And it’s. It’s. I love the way he. He reads a biography and then he reflects back on that biography in his own words, all the takeaways. He reads certain pages from it. So it’s, you know, 45 minutes to an hour and a half podcast. So I listen to it every day, and I get a lot of takeaways from it. I actually have a. Like a note that I keep. It’s called Inspirational quotes and Messages. And as I’m listening, I pause and I always record some takeaway and then I add it to my notes. Like, my notes are. Now, let me look at. I think it’s 317 notes I have here. 

56:31
Erin
Wow. 

56:32
Parveen
Quotes. Quotes that I take away from this podcast. It’s an amazing podcast that sounds really interesting. Like, you can learn so much from other leaders who’ve done this, you know, have done business or have done something and changed the world in some way. And when I listen to his podcast, I then go and text my wife and say, buy me this book. Yeah, she has the Amazon account, not me, so buy me this book. Order now. 

56:59
Erin
That’s awesome. In one sentence, what does freedom look like to you? 

57:05
Parveen
Wow. Freedom to me is having the choice to do whatever I want, whenever I want without having to think about, you know, how I’m going to. How I’m going to pay for it, how I’m going to achieve it or something. Yeah. 

57:23
Erin
What is the coolest place you visited or a place you visited that exceeded your expectations? 

57:30
Parveen
Coolest place I visited that exceeded my expectations. You know, I just came back from. From Isle of Man. I didn’t even know where Isle of Man was. 

57:44
Erin
Where is it? For people who don’t know, yes. 

57:47
Parveen
Isle of man is an island in the middle of. Okay, so from one side you can see Great Britain. Other side you can see Ireland. Other side you can see Scotland. On the other side, you can see Wales. So it’s right in between all of them. 

58:00
Erin
Oh, neat. 

58:01
Parveen
And it’s a small little island. It’s. It’s where we just did our little retreat. Right now there’s eight of us entrepreneurs who get together every. Every month online and get somewhere once A year. And we chose to go to Isle of Man. I was really amazed with this island. Like, it was just. People were so friendly. Small place. They have this race called the tt. It’s a motorcycle race. And again, I knew nothing about this. And it’s got a lot of history and it’s fantastic. I was really surprised with it. 

58:34
Erin
Beautiful island. 

58:35
Parveen
Yeah. 

58:36
Erin
That’s neat. What is something you do regularly to fill your own cup? 

58:41
Parveen
Great question. I live by the word change. Right. To me, I need to be constantly learning and growing, so I fill my cup with challenging myself daily on learning something new. Right. Just we’re. I always learn something new. Every day we learn something new. 

59:10
Erin
I love it. 

59:11
Parveen
I don’t believe in the using the word expert. I. I believe that I’m a lifelong learner and the brain is a muscle that needs to be used. And, you know, we. We can’t sit still and do something. I. I fear retirement. I fear that word. I don’t know what. I don’t. I don’t believe in that. I think, you know, it goes back to your. The word you asked earlier about freedom. I just want to be. I always want to be doing something, but I want to be doing it on my own terms. 

59:40
Erin
Yes. 

59:41
Parveen
That’s what retirement is to me. 

59:43
Erin
Yes. Yeah. I think that word means something out there in the general population, but it means it’s actually something bigger and retirement can look different for different people. Well, thank you so much. I think you’ve lived your ikigai today because when you talk about contributing towards building a united world one conversation at a time. This has been one heck of a conversation and I’ve really enjoyed it. Thank you so much for being here today, Praveen. 

01:00:16
Parveen
Thank you, Erin. Really loved it and love the work that you’re doing. I appreciate you having me on today. 

01:00:23
Erin
Have a great day. Not a good day. A great day. 

01:00:26
Parveen
Awesome. 

01:00:30
Erin
If you like this podcast and want to support it, tell a friend about it. You can also connect with Fulfillment Equation through Instagram or Facebook for updates on new episodes, daily doses of joy and fun travel tips. And if you are really into it, feel free to join the Fulfillment Equation community through the website at fulfillmentequation.com where you will get a weekly email with insider information and free resources to help you build more fulfillment into your own life. I hope you enjoyed the episode today. There’s lots more to come this season, so stay tuned. 

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